Surprise two of our E3 surprises!
In between doing her make-up and having sex with seven guys at the same time, a girl, yes, a FEMALE HUMAN, wrote a review of Harvest Moon: Magical Melody for us. We're the first and only video game website on the internet to have a female staffer, so you'd best hurry on over to Features and give it a read. We don't want her feeling left out.
Are there more surprises yet to come? If I told you, I'd be breaking NDA, so who knows! Maybe! Maybe not, even!
Edit: 3:13 pm -- oh ho ho, what's this, our last surprise before E3? What is it, you ask? Actually, it's just a regular article by Miguel Herrera, whom you may or may not know as Mike T. Warrior. The surprise is that there was no surprise! SUCKERS!!! Anyway, haz clic aqui.
05-08-06: Lost Soul Bent on Revenge
Here comes the first of our many E3 surprises!
Cinema superstar Chris Tucker took time out of his busy schedule to review Perfect Dark Zero for us. I'm not sure why he chose our site; perhaps we have a cult celebrity following that I don't know about. Anyway, check it out over in our packed-like-your-mother Features section.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to take a moment to lament the loss of something very near and dear to my heart. Nearly one month ago, the greatest webcomic ever to grace the internet met an incredibly sad, premature death. The circumstances surrounding its cancellation remain a mystery even to this day. But it will live on! It will live on in my heart and the hearts of true gamers everywhere. Safe Haven, we salute you. May you rest in peace...
05-07-06: War in China. Liu Kang. Shaolin monk.
I promised more updates, and this time I actually delivered!
We got a nice editorial from guest writer BreakyBoy, also known as Andres Rojas, over in features. If you don't check it out, I will kill you. I will kill you.
Even more goodies await as we prepare for E3! Expect many exclusives!
05-06-06: Master! We're in a Tight Spot!
Now that Joshums has been knocked out and stuffed back in his suitcase, it's time for me to start updating again!
Today I bring you my definitive review of Killer 7. If you haven't read it yet, check out some of the hilarious things Jack Thompson has to say about Killer 7. I bought the game expecting full-blown sex sequences, and I was very disappointed. STOP THE LYING, JACK!
Expect more features and news stories in the days ahead. Why? uh... j-just because...
04-05-06: Episode VI: Return of teh Joshums
It's been seven months since our last update. Simply unacceptable, Rimmer. DJ Joshums is in da hizouse to make things
a little better.
Not much new stuff. Staff members have been busy studying for finals because we are all college students and only college
students play video games and they play good games like Halo, Doom 3, and all those WWII games. Oh, there is a movie review in our
features section. Check it out! Also, our chat group has started hax0ring comics. Pls check out them by clicking on the Safe Haven link on the right of our page.
You can expect another update relatively soon because our staffers are required to write an article within 6 months of E3 in order to get a media badge we are
a professional business that updates regularly.
