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Reviews, Editorials, and whatnot
Yeah, check it, this is where you'll find people ranting about...uh, stuff. Specials, editorials, tubgirl, all that good stuff
06-07-10: Silent Hill: Shattered Memories Review
- SS4Gogita wrote something here but it's gone now. Sorry! In penance, I beg of you to read his review of the latest Silent Hill game.
05-30-10: This Is Your Granddad's Video Game Article
- Site founder from like ten years ago Ty Shughart has returned from his vacation in the Caribbean, and with him he brings the rage at shoddy video game journalism. It's a good thing we have only the strictest editorial standards and highest degree of professionalism here at Don't Blame Games.
05-25-10: Deadly Premonition Review
- Your old pal Rimzy is back with a piece of advice: at times we must purge things from this world because they must not exist. Is Deadly Premonition one of those things? No, no it is not.
05-09-06: Video Games, Another Opiate?
- Mike_The_Warrior, also known as Miguel Herrera, writes about video games and drugs and I don't know, I'm in a hurry to get to E3, so really, this is a mystery link with prizes and amazement only a click away...
05-09-06: Harvest Moon: Magical Melody Review
- Elzie Ann, who happens to be a girl, by the way, wrote this review. A review of a farming sim. A review of a farming sim on a website about video game scapegoatosity. Actually, there's some talk of bestiality, so hey, I'm convinced!
05-08-06: Perfect Dark Zero Review
- African American celebrity Christopher Tucker, star of such hit films as Rush Hour and Rush Hour 2, has graced our humble little site with a review of Xbox 360's one and only first person shooter. Developers, you better take advantage of the 360's dearth of FPSes, because I hear 360 owners are clamoring for more!
05-07-06: Violence in Video Games and You
- Judging by the title, guest writer Andres Rojas is either discussing video game violence and the impact it has or doesn't have on you, or he's talking about the primal violent urges that lurk deep within the hearts of each and every one of us and how video games awaken them. Read it, because I sure didn't!
05-06-06: Killer 7 Review
- Jack Thompson says this game is responsible for the deterioration of modern society. Is this true? Write back.
04-05-06: Movie Review: Doom
- Risen from the dead, long-time-no-hear-from Joshums watches a movie so you don't have to. Is the movie good? Does it stay true to the game? Stop axing
questions and read the review already!
05-17-05: Yoshi Touch and Go Review
- Miguel Herrera? He's not a s-- errrr, so yeah, here we have an article about white papers on the internet or Yoshi Touch and Go or something. What kind of title is that, anyway? Yoshi "goes" after you touch him? And this is supposed to be a kid-friendly game?! EGREGIOUS!
05-17-05: Plumbers and Mobs
- Who is Elaine Kim? I don't know, but she wrote an article in the same vein as Elzie's, once again exposing the deep conspiracy behind so-called "children's" entertainment.
05-16-05: Is Fire Emblem Really for Everyone?
- Elzie Ann comes out of fucking nowhere to provide a shocking exposè that uncovers the mortifying truth behind E-rated games. Just what kind of family-unfriendly content makes it past the ESRB? You may be surprised! Warning: adult content
05-16-05: Resident Evil 4 Review
- Angry staffer Rimmer goes on a tirade and lambasts Resident Evil 4 for not having Jill sucking. Hard.
05-16-05: Halo 2 Review
- Cowface takes time off from being a social fag0t to give us his bipolar review of another Xbox first person shooter. Who'da thunk it!
10-10-04: Katamari Damacy Review
- Original staffer Leftmost (formerly Hellfyre) rises from the dead to enact his revenge on us for callously firing him by
writing a review for wacky PS2 game Katamari Damacy. Kids are going to start rolling around balls and haphazardly picking
things up, just you wait.
08-25-04: Pikmin 2 Giveaway Contest Entries
- mdm won the contest, but head on over to check out all the entries. Who would you have chosen? Write back.
08-04-04: Pikmin 2 Giveaway Contest
- Do you want Pikmin 2? Do you hate spending money? If so, then Pikmin 2 Giveaway Contest should rocket to the top of your "must-enter" list. You won't be disappointed.
07-17-04: Final Fantasy VII Review
- DJ Joshums raps about Square's timeless "masterpiece" in a truthful light. Read it for the TRUTH!
07-17-04: Hitman: Contracts Review
- Self-proclaimed "Mouse Man" and DBG staff n00b Tower reviews Hitman: Contracts for the PS2, and he doesn't spare the comedy!
06-05-04: Muppets Party Cruise Review
- Guest writer Jennums provides a review for Muppets Party Cruise. Because, you know, Muppets Party Cruise is at the center of all the game-blaming controversy
05-11-04: TimeSplitters 2 Review
- Newbie Cowface reviews TimeSplitters 2. Is it worth your time? You'll have to read the whole long, boring thing to find out!
05-10-04: Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes Review
- Elzie writes up a review of MGS:TTS. I hear this game has stealth. Is this true? Write back
05-08-04: True Crime: Streets of LA Review
- I hear that Nick Kang is a LOOSE CANNON!!
05-06-04: Blood in the Halls: 2000
- Insurance. Shhhhh...
01-12-04: XMP Review
- Guest writer Tower is back -- again! This time with a review of XMP, some thing for Unreal 2 or
Tournament or something, I don't know. You're going to click this link whether I do an accurate job describing
XMP or not. SUCKERS!
01-11-04: XIII Review
- Guest writer Tower returns to breathe new life into the tour de force Features section with a review of the
somewhat-popular FPS "XIII." Sure to be more relevant than the Industry Giant II review. But just barely.
07-04-03: Industry Giant II Review
- Guest writer and PC game expert Tower lifts a huge weight off Joshums' back and gives us the long-awaited review of JoWood's Industry Giant II.
05-11-03: The College Gamer: Portrait of a Stereotype
- DJ Joshums tells it like it is. If you're a college student, read this and learn why you suck.
05-05-03: Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance Review o' Doom!
- EvilMario gives you the bone chilling details about Midway's blockbuster fighting game. Thinking of buying, renting, borrowing from a
friend, or not playing the game? Better read this review and let EvilMario make up your mind for you because like Rick Powers,
he knows more about games than any of you fag0ts.
12-20-02: Resident Evil Zero Super Happy Fun Review!
- Rimmer spends time not reviewing GTA:VC so he can review RE0, because surely, one day the Resident Evil series will be blamed
for something. Plus, he likes to tell you what to think.
6-07-02: E3 2k2: Day 2 - MONKEY BUKKAKE!!!11
- Let Rimmerbot tell you all about the second day of E3. Tales of free stuff and booth babe rejection inside!
6-04-02: ESRB Gets Rated
- Bob_the_Ninja tells you what the rating system is all about. May he rest in peace.
6-04-02: Preview: Rainbow 6: Raven Shield
- Hardcore Rainbow 6 fan Bob_the_Ninja gives you a preview of this FPS straight from E3 to your brains.
6-04-02: E3 2k2: Day 1 - Bob's Story
- Take a ride through E3 virgin Bob_the_Ninja's twisted mind and find out what it was like to be at E3. Too bad he's dead now. At least he got to see E3 before he died. He will be missed.
6-04-02: E3 2k2: Day 1 - OMG WTF
- Let Rimmerbot give you the skinny on his experience on E3 day 1. Chicks, alcohol, and DDR await!
6-04-02: E3 Is Where I was Be: Part I
- Our very own Art Mann Joshums tells the tale of E3 day zero; the day before the show.
5-10-02: Resident Evil REVIEWED! EXCITINGOMGWTF!
- Read someone else's opinions on Resident Evil for GameCube, even though you've probably formed your own by now. Rimmerbot is a professional, LISTEN TO HIM AND NOT YOURSELF!
3-02-02: DBG Staff Meeting 2
- If you liked our first staff meeting, you will love our second staff meeting that was held in our wonderful mIRC channel!
3-02-02: When Parents Play the Blame Game, Everyone Loses
- Rimmer writes this editorial, which places the blame where it belongs... on bad parents! In fact, if you don't read this editorial, YOU are a bad parent!
3-02-02: 2002: A Blame Odyssey
- Joshums predicts how games will be blamed in the future using deductive reasoning... or is it inductive reasoning? Who cares, Joshums knows his shiznit!
1-14-02: Halo Impressions (Expanded)
- If Bob the Ninja's last impressions of Halo left you asking "why?" check out this full explication of the game in detail.
1-05-02: Halo Impressions
- Our very own Bob the Ninja busts out his swordchucks and tells us what he thinks of Xbox's controversial FPS, Halo.
12-04-01: DBG Staff Meeting
- Have you ever wondered what some of the DBG staff is like? Well, wonder no further. We got together to discuss quite a few things regarding the site
and decided to throw it up for your amusement. Actually, we're also interested in hearing what you have to say about some of the ideas we had. Feedback
would be appreciated.
04-20-01: Blood In The Halls
- Joshums shares his views on the Columbine wackiness and how it's still a major issue with the media today. Also, he details a horror story we
experienced in our Spanish class while we were attempting to be funny and creative.
04-20-01: Games Don't Create Unhappy Kids
- Ultra super special guest ME Massa IS DISGUSTED BY KATIE COURIC! As a soon to be mother, she shares her thoughts on what raising a child in today's society
is like and what it SHOULD be like.
12-05-00: Little Timmy is Running Amuck
- Rimmer writes a nifty editorial asking who's really to blame when a kid goes bananas when there are all sorts of ratings systems and safeguards to "protect" kids.
Also, he scores some extra credit in his English class for getting it posted here.
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